The power of holding space – 

We are sitting on a beautiful bed by a fireplace. Face to face, cross-legged. We look into each other’s eyes. I feel his love for me and it completely fills me up. At the same time, I feel both guilt and openness to say what I feel in my heart.

So I start sharing. My love for him. My pain. My resistance to opening up physically to him.

He listens. Without responding. I do see his pain, but he can hold it to give me space to keep sharing. He keeps listening with his heart wide open. I feel the deep connection of our hearts. It gives me the courage to keep going, even though I feel intense shame and I don’t want to hurt him. My tears form a river of liberation on my cheeks.

Then it’s his turn to take the talking stick, my time to hold space for him. What he shares, touches me deeply and brings up all kinds of emotions ranging from deep love, compassion, gratitude, to pain, disbelief, fear and anger. But I can hold it all to give him space to keep sharing.

The power of the talking stick

The talking stick ritual is both very simple and very powerful. It has had a big impact on our relationship of almost 25 years. To be and share from the heart and experience that you can be and show what is really going on on the inside, without judgement, without seeing the response or trigger of the other and having to care for that, feels free. It brings great peace. That you can show yourself. Be yourself. It’s scary and vulnerable, but so powerful at the same time.

We human beings have a tendency to respond immediately, solve the problem, and defend ourselves. The talking stick provides a framework to create and hold space for each other. To listen with an open heart. And that space is so liberating, healing, and connecting.


My heart and womb open on a deep level

When he feels he has said everything, we hug, cry and hold each other. We both feel completely seen and loved with all that we are. The feeling that he loves me with all my shadows, opens my heart and my womb on a deep, deep level. Safe, loved, worthy.


Femke Klomp; talking stick; relationship; space; shamanic; neoshamanic

Thank you, dear love of my life, for holding space for me and for loving me completely.

Tip: We stayed at the magical Love Bubbles in Lochem. It’s an amazing place to come closer together. You can find them here.